Remembering Them: Creating Rituals and Meaning Around Infant or Pregnancy Loss

Grief after pregnancy or infant loss is a quiet, often invisible burden. There may be no funeral, no obituary, no shared memories—just a deep absence where a life should have been. For many, the pain is compounded by silence. There’s little cultural script for how to mourn a baby never met, or one held for only a brief moment. 

But grief needs space. It needs witness. And for many families, healing begins when they’re given permission to remember. 

Creating rituals around pregnancy and infant loss can be a powerful way to give shape to something that feels unspoken. Whether public or private, simple or ceremonial, these acts of remembrance can help validate your experience and honor the life that was lost. At CHR a lot of our patients experience recurrent miscarriages, and we’re dedicated to helping you along your journey.  

Why Rituals Matter 

Rituals have long been part of how we process grief. They offer structure, presence, and a sense of continuity. For those who’ve experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss, rituals provide a way to: 

• Acknowledge the baby’s existence 
• Create a lasting memory or physical representation 
• Invite others into your grief (if you choose) 
• Reclaim agency during a time that often feels chaotic 

Most importantly, rituals give us permission to feel. To remember. To say, “this mattered.” 

Ways to Remember 

There’s no “right” way to honor a loss, but here are some meaningful ideas from families who’ve walked this path: 

• Light a Candle on a Specific Day

Many parents choose to light a candle on their baby’s due date, the day of loss, or during Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day (October 15th). It’s a small but grounding act of remembrance. 

• Create a Memory Box 

 Even without ultrasound photos or baby items, you can gather letters, journal entries, or symbols that represent your baby. This box becomes a sacred space you can return to over time. 

• Plant Something Living 

 A tree, flower, or garden bed can grow in memory of your baby. The act of nurturing something living becomes a quiet and hopeful way to honor life. 

• Write Their Name 

 Even if your baby didn’t have an official name, many parents feel comfort in naming them privately. Some write letters, poems, or add their baby’s name to remembrance walls or journals. 

• Join a Community Event 

 During October, many organizations host candlelight walks, virtual ceremonies, and remembrance services. Attending can help you feel less alone and more supported in your grief. 

• Make Art or Jewelry 

Some people find healing through creativity—painting, music, or designing a keepsake necklace or bracelet. These tangible items offer a way to carry your baby’s memory with you. 

There Is No Timeline 

Grief doesn’t end on a schedule. You might feel the need to create rituals days, months, or even years after your loss—and that’s okay. Anniversaries, holidays, or quiet moments may bring up emotions when you least expect them. 

Whatever path you choose, remember this: Your grief is valid. Your loss is real. And your baby—however small—deserves to be remembered. 

At CHR, we stand with every family who’s experienced pregnancy or infant loss. This month and always, we honor your story.